Happy Mother's Day

Hope for Hayden

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

-Jeremiah 29:11

These last few days I have struggled with writing another blog entry as each and everyday I have tried to write something  but failed. We have been told over and over by family members and visitors that coming to visit us they get a glimpse of what we endure each day but nobody will ever truly understand how hard these past 45 days have been for Hayden, Tim and I.  These past 6 weeks have been the hardest days of our lives filled with discouragement, despair,  anxiety, pain, anger, and loneliness. It has been a true struggle trying to find a balance of writing about our experience and being hopeful but also being honest. We believe that everyday is a blessing, we are thankful for the Good Lord's mercy and healing hand, and know that he will never give us more than we can handle, but some days we can't help but ask how much Lord do you think we can handle?  How much do we have to endure? Are we strong enough?


It has been 9 months since our world was rocked and we found out that not only were we having a daughter but that she also was diagnosed with Trisomy 13. We continue to strive and learn a little more each and every day about not only Hayden but Trisomy 13.  Many of the congenital malformations or birth defects associated with Trisomy 13 we have discovered Hayden does have as she has spent 2 months of her life so far in the hospital. But she continues to defy the odds at 4 months of age with approximately 80% of children diagnosed with Trisomy 13 pass away within their first month of life.  Hayden's courageous story has already touched so many lives and she continues to raise awareness for Trisomy 13 and show Tim and I how to believe and fight for each breath we are given.   

So as we celebrate Mother's Day, I cannot help but think about all of the fellow Mom's with children in the hospital. Being a Mom is the hardest job on Earth but being a Mom with a child in the hospital, a special needs child, or a child with Trisomy, you have no idea the depth of your strength, tenacity, and resourcefulness.   You see things you never could imagine. You treasure things most wouldn't think twice about. You don't think a milestone is just a milestone, it is a miracle. You become a nurse, an advocate, an educator, a specialist, a therapist, and most of all a Mom to your wonderful miracle and child fighting for their life.

I will be honest it is very difficult to write this and know that I will be celebrating my first Mother's Day with my daughter in the hospital. You think of Mother's Day as a day to celebrate, a day filled with joy and brunch plans.  So although it is not how I envisioned, I want to celebrate all the amazing Moms out there.  Thank you to my amazing Mother for her selflessness, strength, support, and love. It is because of you and Dad that I understand what love truly means. Thank you to all the other Moms who have banded together to show Hayden, Tim, and I what it truly means to be a Mother, Grandmother and Mother-in-Law. And thank you Hayden for showing me how to fight, how to be your advocate, and most importantly letting me experience for the first time what it means to be a Mom.  Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms and we love you more than you ever will know!