A New Year and New Beginnings

Peace I leave you; My own peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

-John 14:27

 

As many of you will probably agree, the holiday season fills you with an array of emotions and mine has been full  of  anticipation, excitement, stress, worry, waiting and filled with many, many questions. That is one of the reasons why I haven't had the chance to post another blog entry. Over the past two weeks we have been anxiously waiting our little baby girl's arrival and are still filled with lots of questions and still, lots of waiting. Every day my phone vibrates with dozens and dozens of text messages and questions from friends and family asking if there is any baby update or any news. We are so thankful for being surrounded by so much love and support but at times it can be overwhelming when we ourselves do not know what is going on or have all the answers.   

I have had two doctor's appointments this past week and we know that as of Thursday, I am 4 cm dilated, 90 effaced, with a bishop score of 7. Although my water has not broken, this past week has been filled with lots of  serious back pain, mild contractions and a few late night phone calls to my Obstetrician. I have been trying everything from warm baths, walking, spicy food, a manicure and pedicure for my pressure points, bouncing on a medicine ball, even working, and nothing seems to work.  We have finally arrived at the answer that she will arrive and make her appearance into the world only when she is good and ready.    

Although I do not have all the answers and the Doctor's do not have all the answers, I know our powerful and almighty God is the only one who knows all the answers. What I do know is that we are exactly 6 days away from our original due date of January 7th.  We have been scheduled for an induction as last resort and the absolute latest date on Wednesday, January 4th. This also happens to be my husband Tim's birthday! Out of all the days that she could arrive, who would have thought that she would be full term, still growing at 39 weeks, and possibly born on the same day as her proud Daddy? Not myself, Tim, our families or any of our Doctor's would have ever predicted this amazing outcome and possibility. She is already defying the odds and surpassing the statistics that were given to us upon her first diagnosis of Trisomy 13 in August.  Even though we are still learning about her diagnosis, she is still teaching us patience and God is still proving to us that he is in control.

As we mark the first day of the New Year, many of you will make New Year's resolutions, and some may be hard to keep. Just before he was to go to the cross, Jesus told the disciples he was leaving them a gift- peace. Although I do not have a resolution for the new year, I do hope and pray for a new year with a new beginning. I pray that God gives us peace whenever obstacles and trials face us throughout the year.  Peace to calm our fears, worries, and anxieties that Tim and I will be great parents and do all things possible with his guidance for our daughter. So I pray in 2017 that God gives you, our loved ones, friends, parents, and fellow Trisomy 13 and 18 parents,  peace throughout the upcoming new year.

Update at 36 Weeks

Peace in the Midst of the Storm   

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.

 

-Isaiah 26:3-4

I woke up out of my norm on Monday as I ended up skipping not only breakfast but also my morning routine and reading my daily devotional. I had been fasting and my first appointment of the day was blood work at my Doctor's office at Southpark. I knew that starting my day off in a rush and frazzled way would probably be what my Monday would ensue as the day continued, and I was right. 

This Monday was another day like so many others have been, full of scheduled Doctor's appointments and updates. What started out with lab work continued in the afternoon with a tour of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at CMC, followed by another ultrasound, a consult with another Obstetrician, then topped off with a two hour maternity class on "Taking Care of Baby." Why I had scheduled that class on the same day, I don't know. But I know our days are becoming limited and time is precious.

Tim and I like so many times before, met by the fountain and waited for our Genetic Counselor in the Lobby of Levine Children's Hospital. We were able to tour the NICU where Baby Brown will most likely be following labor. We learned the protocol for families, toured the North, South, East and West wings and were able to see the nurseries. Just seeing the precious tiny little babies in the NICU and walking the halls lined with pictures of children that have defied the odds, was so inspiring. It was amazing to see these small miracles surrounded by so much love and support and I couldn't help but think that in just a few short weeks we might be sitting right where those Moms and Dads were.

We started what was our 8th ultrasound and could not wait to see our little angel's face again. We went through our usual marker check with her heart, eyes, face, and measurements to see her growth at this point in gestation. Unfortunately, she was not being cooperative again and wouldn't let the ultrasound technician get a good look at her brain. She was already in position with her head facing very low in my pelvis, resting her head once again on my bladder.  Although there was no change in development in her globes or lenses in her eyes or the size of the VSD in her heart, we were amazed and excited to hear she was growing at a normal weight!  She was weighing in at 5 lb. 8 oz already!  I was so proud that our little bean was far outgrowing and surpassing what everyone thought she would be! She measured at 34 weeks and 4 days, just one week behind her actual gestation and was already overcoming the odds and statistics against her. She was a fighter, just like her mama and daddy :)

Earlier that day, before I met Tim for our appointments,  I opened my daily devotional since I had not had a chance to that morning in hopes that it would ease my anxiety about our upcoming appointments.  It was titled, "Peace in the Midst of the Storm," and was about Jesus and his disciples amidst a storm in the Sea of Galilee. Although the disciples got upset, Jesus never let the storm affect him or get on the inside of him. He kept his heart peaceful, loving, and calm.

Oddly enough throughout all of our appointments I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort. We were introduced on Monday to Dr. Brown. I truly believe she was sent to us at the perfect time when we needed her the most. She consulted us on Baby Brown's development and what she thought about our ultrasound and our plan to schedule an induction. Meeting her was the absolute best part of our day as we had yet to completely click with a Doctor and their opinion. She was warm, knowledgeable, and explained in great detail her opinions and why she was recommending us to not only not induce but to let nature take it's course.  Of course, we completely agreed and have decided to proceed as normal and check to see if I am dilated at week 39.  If I am dilated and my body is getting ready for  baby girl's arrival, then we will go ahead and induce. However, if I am not dilated then we have decided to let me proceed to full term at week 40 before we check again.

I have felt so anxious and unsettled since our last appointment when we talked of induction and a possible C-section. But after meeting Dr. Brown and hearing our new plan I felt much more at peace.  It is funny my daily devotional was about Jesus keeping his heart loving and calm amidst the storm and he said we are to be like him. Maybe that is why I felt calm and at peace this whole time during this process, because I know he would take care of us and guide us in all of our decisions. So no matter what you are going through today or each day, don't let the storms of life get inside you. Keep your heart peaceful, loving and calm and trust me he will take care of your worries.